If it were really as simple as Never Never Land, Tinker Bell would have just sprinkled some pixie dust on Michael Jackson and it would all be good. Or maybe they would have clapped him back to life like they did Tink .. I don’t know. It’s a shame that a death is what it takes for people to play non-stop Michael Jackson. That’s all I’ve ever really wanted. A Michael Jackson radio station. Nothing but Michael all day, everyday. He has a large enough catalogue. Why not?
I am not taking Michael’s passing well at all. Not in a sacrilegious sense, because I am a Christian and I know what the Bible says, but because I feel like I’ve not only lost a part of my childhood but a part of everyday of my life. Every song in Michael’s catalogue evokes a time, place, situation, and emotion that is as vivid as when it happened. My mother was a hardcore Jackson 5/Michael Jackson fan and she passed the ‘sickness’ down to me.
On June 25th, I received five calls that meant the world to me and eased my heart. There is only one other time I have been moved to tears over a celebrity, and when my parents found out I was crying over Aaliyah they almost knocked me out, so I was too nervous to let them know about Michael Jackson because I didn’t want them to think I was being extravagant in my sadness. Them calling me from Nigeria to console me was moving. My ‘brother’/best friend in the whole world called from Texas to comfort me, and I felt a bit bad because I know he’s experienced a deeper, irreparable with the loss of his father. My cousin called me from Texas and I thought it was so sweet because he is the only other family member who is my age-mate that I know who has as much love for Michael Jackson as an artist as I do. A dear friend of mine had to work, and with him being in the music business I know he understands the appreciation that comes with Michael Jackson’s music. I appreciate that he understood my similar appreciation enough to sympathize by reaching out while he was at work. I also received a call from someone with whom I have a turbulent relationship, but because our whole friendship began and is rooted in our similar affinity for Michael Jackson, for the moment I was on the phone with her we were friends again, and I didn’t feel like such a fool when we just sat there and sobbed together. It may seem overreactive to everyone else, but these people know, understand and care enough about my interests and my thought processes to be there for me openheartedly. I love and appreciate them so much for that.
For those that still feel that they require an explanation, although the direct pain comes from the passing of someone who created the soundtrack to my life, my indirect pain comes from my feelings towards the whole concept of death and dying. Michael Jackson’s death is a reminder that life is fleeting. All my memories that I have associated with his music are in fact gone and just reminiscences. As I get older this world becomes more unfamiliar and more not relatable. I am still fortunate to not have lost someone extremely dear to me, but my concentric circle of loved ones is closing in and as a human with human emotions the thought of that hurts me in such an incredible way.
My heart is way too complicated for words and I really don’t have the desire to explain my thoughts, emotions, actions, or self to anyone. Those that know just know and they’re fine with me.
With a broken heart, I pray for the wisdom and understanding for those who may be so consumed in their mourning that they fall in the arms of idolatry. I pray that God comforts them and forgives them for their unintentional misdirection of reverence. I pray for the comfort and peace for the family and loved ones of Michael Jackson. As a global influence, it’s unimaginable the impact that this has had on those who have the actual bond to him. I also pray for those like myself who are yet to come to grips with life and death and who need to constantly remember that THIS is the temporary place and there is greatness beyond description after our souls are released from this shell. Finally, I pray for the soul of Michael Jackson. I pray that he was a man that knew God so that his soul may in fact rest in peace.
